Where's the Fucking Paper???

I dreamt that I was hunting in the woods with my grandfather. It was the opening of hunting season, so there were a ton of guys with shotguns all over the place. We had these weird things like sleds that were propelled by rockets but skipped along the ground like a rock over water and were steered in the air by little directional rockets. I was planning to meet the ex-wife and kids, we were supposed to go hiking alongside a river and I was already supposed to be there. I left my grandfather to go meet the fam. I was skipping (on the sled) along through the woods and kept getting shot at by the hordes of hunters who thought I was a deer. I was going along a road and was really getting some air and sometimes travelling on one skip for like 30 seconds.

I got to the river where I could see my kids and they were on this rocky cliff that was about 80 feet above the water. I was trying to slow down, but it was hard. I had to steer around this tree which put me a little off course and when I got to where they were I just missed the cliff and was falling towards the water. I stuck my foot out to hit the side of the cliff and flipped over and dove head first into the water. The current swept me under and I got sucked under the rock that was the cliff. I went all the way to the bottom and started trying to swim up but couldn't find my way to the top. I started to get worried that I was going to die under the water. I found this tiny gap between the rocks and the surface, but it was where this huge boulder was balancing above the water. My ex-wife, which was actually now my friend's wife, pushed her face through and breathed into my mouth, giving me enough air to go back under and try to find the way out. At that same time for some reason she tried to fit herself through the gap. Which caused the boulder to come lose of the wall and fall into the water. Some lose rocks from the wall fell and hit her in the head and also hit my kids and my neighbors three kids which were with her now. My neighbor's son had a big square rock embedded in his head. My son had the butt end of a steak knife stuck into the back of his head behind his ear. One of the neighbors kids had a knife, blade end, sticking in his head, right beside the outside of his eye. One of the other neighbors kids had two knifes sticking out of his hand, Edward Scissorhands style and the other neighbor's kid had a small rock in his head. They all had fallen in to the water, so I jumped in and I threw them all on shore. I called 911 and the damned operator kept asking me stupid questions like , "What do you do for a living: A. work hard, b. work lazily, c. do nothing, you're a bum..." I'm like a., then another question and another. Finally she's like why are you calling, I said cuz some fucked up shit just fucking happened. They sent a medivac and we went to the hospital. Neighbors came and were cussing me out, we got in to a big argument and I was telling them it was an accident, they finally settled down. All the kids turned out fine somehow.

I woke up, in the dream, and I was Roland, The Gunslinger from Stephen King's Dark Tower books and I really wanted to write down my dream. I was in a house with an older guy and his son and I was holding them hostage. I couldn't find any damned paper in the house as paper in Roland's world is very rare. I was running around like a mad man cuz I knew I was still actually having a dream and if I could just write the dream down in the dream, I just knew I wouldn't forget it. At the same time, I kept getting distracted by the worldly things in the house like a TV and electric can opener, cuz Roland is amazed by techy, modern stuff. I'm yelling at the old man, "Where's the Fucking Paper???" Finally I got a piece of paper and a pencil and the old man in the house kept interuppting me before I could write anything down and I was getting pissed. Then I woke up for real for just a second and I was like, DAMN I wanted to write that in my dream, so I let myself go right back to sleep and amazingly I was back in the house trying to find paper again, as soon as I found paper, I couldn't find a pencil and when I finally did I woke up. When I wrote this down it was still around 7am, so as soon as I got it all out, my happy ass went right back to sleep!