Talkin women with Trump and making out with Miss USA
This dream was SO good I woke up with a pool of drool the size of Texas encircling my head on the pillow and laid there smiling for 5 minutes remembering it! Miss USA is a good kisser!!!
I was at the Miss USA pageant in the front row, Miss Maryland and I had some kind of connection and she smiled at me everytime she came out. She ended up winning and the next day I saw her at a baseball game. Not an O's game, but a youth baseball game, sitting in the tiny bleachers. After the baseball game, there was a bike show going on, these guys were riding motorcycles and jumping up in the air. Miss USA came up and sat down next to me and we started flirting with each other. I started out holding her hand, next thing you know we're making out on the bleachers.
While kissing her, I close my eyes and think about how great this is and how righteous it's gonna be to show her off to my friends... I open my eyes and I'm standing in a mall. Damn, where'd she go? I start walking around and something falls out of my mouth, I look down and it's a molar, I pick it up, examine it and drop it into a Hot Topic shopping bag that I'm carrying around. My other teeth started falling out too, and each time I'd put them in the bag. I touched one of my front teeth and it shattered in my mouth, at one point, my mouth was full of tooth shards, like wet chunks of worn rock on a beach. I was spitting all the pieces of my teeth in to the bag and when I looked in the mirror my remaining teeth were all black. When I looked in to the bag, there were pieces of my teeth all clumped up, but also lots of needles, the type that come stuck in to a new shirt along with a bunch of all metal tacks. Maybe that's why my teeth were cracking???
I'm thinking great! there's no way Miss USA will ever want to be with me now! I'm more upset about the loss of the trophy girlfriend than the fact that my teeth are shattering!
Black out.... I'm in a field and am being shot at, there are 3 or 4 guys with me shooting back at the people shooting at me/us. I have no idea how I got here or why I'm being shot at. A helicopter with the rear end of a truck plops down in the field next to us and I run and jump in. The chopper is about to take off when the last of our guys jumps in the truck bed. It's this really big black guy that I work with, he's about 6'4" and at least 400lbs. The chopper is REALLY straining and we barely make it over the treeline and are sputtering along for about 5 minutes. We go to land in another field and the pilot who is having a hard time keeping us steady turns to me and tells me Miss USA (he said her name, but I can't remember it now) is calling me and he hands me my phone. Of course I can't hear over the blades roaring over my head. Due to the weight issue, we are going down hard and the pilot performs a controlled crash landing that leaves us mostly without injury.
About a minute after we land, a huge black helicopter and a smaller white one lands nearby. The huge black one is Donald Trump's personal limo/chopper. I went to get on Mr. Trumps ride, but there was a doorman, yes a doorman and he wouldn't let me on. I jumped in the back of the smaller white chopper and a couple of my old baseball buddies from high school were in the back. I was saying what's up, when my friend and his wife come up and are about to get on the black chopper. I run up and ask them if I can come on with them and she told the doorman to let me on. When we went in, there were a lot of people running around, mostly workers. One offered me champagne and another offered me some cavier. I took out my phone intending to call Miss USA since it was much quieter in this one. One of the workers told me they had to confiscate my phone because the helicopter was secure and I couldn't make outgoing calls. But there was a desk with list that I could sign up to use the onboard phone, but it was a long list and they would come find me when it was my turn, but it could be a few hours! So, chit-chatting with Miss USA was on hold once again. I made my way up to the front and ended up sitting next to Mr. Trump. I looked out through the cockpit and we were flying straight for a big concrete support under a huge bridge. As we're getting closer, a secret door opens up in front of us in the support and we fly right into it! I look at Trump and he gives me this look like I better not say anything to anyone about the secret door, I said, "Don't worry Mr. Trump I can be pretty unscrupulous myself, you don't need to worry about me." He said, "I didn't think so, I would like to hear some of your stories sometime. In fact, I think other people would like to see you too, maybe you would like to come on my number one hit show and entertain America?" I'm like, "Hell yeah!".
After about 20 minutes of flying through a tunnel, we came out at a large estate and landed next to a gigantic house. We hopped into a limo and pulled up in front of a restaurant. As I'm about to go in Mr. Trump stopped me at the door and we stood there and had a 30-minute chat about women. He was telling me how I needed to forget about Miss USA because I'm rolling with him and I could have any woman I wanted. I told him the only reason I wanted her was so I could say I dated Miss USA! He laughed, and I said "Fuck you, Donald. I've never seen you without a trophy woman hanging off your arm!" He said, "You got me there." Then he opened the door for me and we went in.
We were in the restaurant livin' it up, it was like we owned the place. A couple of my friends were there and they were only there because I had invited them and they were giving me the "fist high-five" - What the hell do you call that anyway? I decided to go outside and talk to Miss USA on a phone The Donald gave to me. When I got outside, I was about to call her and I looked up to see a police helicopter flying pretty close with a spotlight shining down on the parking lot, and they go to land when they see Trump's limo. They are apparently after us, so I go to run into the restaurant to warn everyone in there to get out, but as I'm running the room is getting bigger and bigger and I'm basically going nowhere. When the cops busted in I ran to the left and went through the kitchen into a back room that was very dusty and broken down looking like no one had been there in 30 years. There were two other people in there trying to hide up in the top of these really big windows. I picked up a brick and tried to break one of the windows to jump outside, but it just bounced off. I could hear the police coming after me, so I ducked into one of the windows and just stood still. When they came in the room they were about to see us, but got a call on their radios and they toook off the other way...
That's when I woke up. I was happy the cops weren't really after me and that I had all my teeth, but disappointed about not hanging with Trump and VERY disappointed the Miss USA thing wasn't real!
I was at the Miss USA pageant in the front row, Miss Maryland and I had some kind of connection and she smiled at me everytime she came out. She ended up winning and the next day I saw her at a baseball game. Not an O's game, but a youth baseball game, sitting in the tiny bleachers. After the baseball game, there was a bike show going on, these guys were riding motorcycles and jumping up in the air. Miss USA came up and sat down next to me and we started flirting with each other. I started out holding her hand, next thing you know we're making out on the bleachers.
While kissing her, I close my eyes and think about how great this is and how righteous it's gonna be to show her off to my friends... I open my eyes and I'm standing in a mall. Damn, where'd she go? I start walking around and something falls out of my mouth, I look down and it's a molar, I pick it up, examine it and drop it into a Hot Topic shopping bag that I'm carrying around. My other teeth started falling out too, and each time I'd put them in the bag. I touched one of my front teeth and it shattered in my mouth, at one point, my mouth was full of tooth shards, like wet chunks of worn rock on a beach. I was spitting all the pieces of my teeth in to the bag and when I looked in the mirror my remaining teeth were all black. When I looked in to the bag, there were pieces of my teeth all clumped up, but also lots of needles, the type that come stuck in to a new shirt along with a bunch of all metal tacks. Maybe that's why my teeth were cracking???
I'm thinking great! there's no way Miss USA will ever want to be with me now! I'm more upset about the loss of the trophy girlfriend than the fact that my teeth are shattering!
Black out.... I'm in a field and am being shot at, there are 3 or 4 guys with me shooting back at the people shooting at me/us. I have no idea how I got here or why I'm being shot at. A helicopter with the rear end of a truck plops down in the field next to us and I run and jump in. The chopper is about to take off when the last of our guys jumps in the truck bed. It's this really big black guy that I work with, he's about 6'4" and at least 400lbs. The chopper is REALLY straining and we barely make it over the treeline and are sputtering along for about 5 minutes. We go to land in another field and the pilot who is having a hard time keeping us steady turns to me and tells me Miss USA (he said her name, but I can't remember it now) is calling me and he hands me my phone. Of course I can't hear over the blades roaring over my head. Due to the weight issue, we are going down hard and the pilot performs a controlled crash landing that leaves us mostly without injury.
About a minute after we land, a huge black helicopter and a smaller white one lands nearby. The huge black one is Donald Trump's personal limo/chopper. I went to get on Mr. Trumps ride, but there was a doorman, yes a doorman and he wouldn't let me on. I jumped in the back of the smaller white chopper and a couple of my old baseball buddies from high school were in the back. I was saying what's up, when my friend and his wife come up and are about to get on the black chopper. I run up and ask them if I can come on with them and she told the doorman to let me on. When we went in, there were a lot of people running around, mostly workers. One offered me champagne and another offered me some cavier. I took out my phone intending to call Miss USA since it was much quieter in this one. One of the workers told me they had to confiscate my phone because the helicopter was secure and I couldn't make outgoing calls. But there was a desk with list that I could sign up to use the onboard phone, but it was a long list and they would come find me when it was my turn, but it could be a few hours! So, chit-chatting with Miss USA was on hold once again. I made my way up to the front and ended up sitting next to Mr. Trump. I looked out through the cockpit and we were flying straight for a big concrete support under a huge bridge. As we're getting closer, a secret door opens up in front of us in the support and we fly right into it! I look at Trump and he gives me this look like I better not say anything to anyone about the secret door, I said, "Don't worry Mr. Trump I can be pretty unscrupulous myself, you don't need to worry about me." He said, "I didn't think so, I would like to hear some of your stories sometime. In fact, I think other people would like to see you too, maybe you would like to come on my number one hit show and entertain America?" I'm like, "Hell yeah!".
After about 20 minutes of flying through a tunnel, we came out at a large estate and landed next to a gigantic house. We hopped into a limo and pulled up in front of a restaurant. As I'm about to go in Mr. Trump stopped me at the door and we stood there and had a 30-minute chat about women. He was telling me how I needed to forget about Miss USA because I'm rolling with him and I could have any woman I wanted. I told him the only reason I wanted her was so I could say I dated Miss USA! He laughed, and I said "Fuck you, Donald. I've never seen you without a trophy woman hanging off your arm!" He said, "You got me there." Then he opened the door for me and we went in.
We were in the restaurant livin' it up, it was like we owned the place. A couple of my friends were there and they were only there because I had invited them and they were giving me the "fist high-five" - What the hell do you call that anyway? I decided to go outside and talk to Miss USA on a phone The Donald gave to me. When I got outside, I was about to call her and I looked up to see a police helicopter flying pretty close with a spotlight shining down on the parking lot, and they go to land when they see Trump's limo. They are apparently after us, so I go to run into the restaurant to warn everyone in there to get out, but as I'm running the room is getting bigger and bigger and I'm basically going nowhere. When the cops busted in I ran to the left and went through the kitchen into a back room that was very dusty and broken down looking like no one had been there in 30 years. There were two other people in there trying to hide up in the top of these really big windows. I picked up a brick and tried to break one of the windows to jump outside, but it just bounced off. I could hear the police coming after me, so I ducked into one of the windows and just stood still. When they came in the room they were about to see us, but got a call on their radios and they toook off the other way...
That's when I woke up. I was happy the cops weren't really after me and that I had all my teeth, but disappointed about not hanging with Trump and VERY disappointed the Miss USA thing wasn't real!
posted by kchertu at 5/03/2005 10:40:00 PM
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