Sky Captain, Pooty-Tang, Blue Lagoon Medley
I was at a college football game and went to the bathroom.
There were girls and guys in the bathroom, I walked up to a urinal and whipped it out and started whizzing. This girl walks up to me, takes a good look, then busts out laughing. Now, I've never been one to be shy or insecure about my manhood, so I was a little surprised.
I looked at her and said, "What the hell are you laughing at? You're ugly, you can't make fun of anybody!"
She says, "Don't you know who I am? I'm not ugly, I'm a supermodel. I'm perfect!"
I asked her to come closer and I started picking out all her flaws, she had an overbite, some acne scars, her nose was too big, etc...
Obviously distressed by my comments, she bursts, "I'm Giselle and every man in the world would die to date me!"
I told her that I never even liked her in the airbrushed pictures, much less now in person. (which by the way is total BS, I think she's hot!)
As soon as she defiantely stomped out of the bathroom there were 4 or 5 ear-shattering explosions. I ran out of the bathroom and there she was shrinking against the wall crying out in terror. I grabbed her and ran out of the stadium. Gigantic alien robots (think Sky Captain) were invading the city stepping on cars and blowing all kinds of shit up. She and I ran through the streets narrowly avoiding the bots footfalls. I found my motorcycle and jumped on after throwing her on the back. I was flying down the road weaving in and out of flaming cars being blown up in front of us and finally came to the ocean. I plucked her from the back of the bike and took off down a path that cut through a cliff wall. I told her we needed to find a cave to hide in until the robots moved on. We came upon a huge mansion carved into the cliff wall. There were a couple of people out front guarding the gates, when we asked if we could come in, they said they would have to ask "him" if we were allowed access. "He" was Chris Rock with curly purple hair in a jerry curl. He walked up to us with his entourage busting jokes left and right, unfortunately I can't remember any of them, but they were hilarious. He stopped the comedy act and was being an ass, so I cussed him out and punched him in the mouth and we moved on. We found a cave to move into and of course we ended up falling in love and mating and decided to live Blue Lagoon style all alone. We weren't sure what happened to the rest of the world, but we didn't care!
There were girls and guys in the bathroom, I walked up to a urinal and whipped it out and started whizzing. This girl walks up to me, takes a good look, then busts out laughing. Now, I've never been one to be shy or insecure about my manhood, so I was a little surprised.
I looked at her and said, "What the hell are you laughing at? You're ugly, you can't make fun of anybody!"
She says, "Don't you know who I am? I'm not ugly, I'm a supermodel. I'm perfect!"
I asked her to come closer and I started picking out all her flaws, she had an overbite, some acne scars, her nose was too big, etc...
Obviously distressed by my comments, she bursts, "I'm Giselle and every man in the world would die to date me!"
I told her that I never even liked her in the airbrushed pictures, much less now in person. (which by the way is total BS, I think she's hot!)
As soon as she defiantely stomped out of the bathroom there were 4 or 5 ear-shattering explosions. I ran out of the bathroom and there she was shrinking against the wall crying out in terror. I grabbed her and ran out of the stadium. Gigantic alien robots (think Sky Captain) were invading the city stepping on cars and blowing all kinds of shit up. She and I ran through the streets narrowly avoiding the bots footfalls. I found my motorcycle and jumped on after throwing her on the back. I was flying down the road weaving in and out of flaming cars being blown up in front of us and finally came to the ocean. I plucked her from the back of the bike and took off down a path that cut through a cliff wall. I told her we needed to find a cave to hide in until the robots moved on. We came upon a huge mansion carved into the cliff wall. There were a couple of people out front guarding the gates, when we asked if we could come in, they said they would have to ask "him" if we were allowed access. "He" was Chris Rock with curly purple hair in a jerry curl. He walked up to us with his entourage busting jokes left and right, unfortunately I can't remember any of them, but they were hilarious. He stopped the comedy act and was being an ass, so I cussed him out and punched him in the mouth and we moved on. We found a cave to move into and of course we ended up falling in love and mating and decided to live Blue Lagoon style all alone. We weren't sure what happened to the rest of the world, but we didn't care!
posted by kchertu at 7/10/2005 10:01:00 PM
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